And so we speak of lust and love...

Moving!

2010-01-16T21:15:00.001+08:00

For the longest time coming, I shifted:
http://sarcasmpeace.livejournal.com!

We'll see how it works there. :)

And I'm leaving, on a jet plane!

2009-12-18T16:41:00.005+08:00

I <3 BESTIE! :

Haha. Yeap, that's us at Ben Lee's 21st birthday. Damn, sometimes I really wish I had an oval face. :(

ANNOUCEMENT!

Claire's 20th birthday!:

Who: Churchies & SAC peeps!
Where: Singapore Botanical Gardens! (I kinda like the big tree area!)
When: Thursday, 31st December 2009. 11 to 3+ PM.
What to wear: Anything floral or befitting for an garden-ish outdoor picnic. We'll be taking lots of photos, so please look good. HAHA!
What to bring: Finger bites! Tea time snacks! I'm bringing Sushi and Sangria. :)

T26, MEET UP SOON! Sorry I've been so busy. :(

Anyways, I'm leaving for INDIA (yes, again!) tonight! See everyone on the 29th! Loves. :)

Another long weekend.

2009-12-07T13:40:00.006+08:00

I'm 'done' being sick! :

Have you had a real long day, bad day?
Have you gone through something emotionally tiring and wasting?

We all have.

Sometimes I get really hard on myself. Especially if it's regarding something I know it's really my fault, that I could do so much better, give so much more. And in such situations, I hardly ever push the blame onto something or someone else.

Saturday's 12 hour rehearsal proved so.

I really don't understand why DC isn't up to standard. It the whole: 'you really aren't born, can't do this' versus the 'I just didn't put in 200%'. And the thing about a group is that one's person's effect affects the entire performance. Be it to give less and make it suck, or to give more and add that extra touch.

I know I'm standing, right THERE for a reason. And so when I fall short to meeting my own and my teacher's expectations, I get so upset. This time it's not the execution problem, it's remembering the damn bloody steps. I was so physically and mentally tired that all I could do was stand in the God damn center and stare, lost for a split second. Sucks.

This whole dance thing reminds me of all the SYF times in SAC. How demanding it was back then in our school for all CCAs. Remember?

Takeaway for 2009, personally: Never invest emotions in someone so fast. You can never know a person in a month, but he can change overnight.

Could you meet me halfway, right at the boarderline
That's where i'm gonna wait, for you
I'll be lookin out, night n'day
Took my heart to the limit, and this is where i'll stay
I can't go any further then this
I want you so bad it's my only wish

Happiness.

2009-11-27T22:17:00.003+08:00

MY WEEK 6:

I'm down with the flu-fever-cough bug.

Incessant coughing and tearing, coupled with the random chills despite being padded and snug under my comforter.

Anatomy mid-terms (a.k.a ICA) are in a week. Thankfully, my EPA practicals are the week later. Phew. After which, I'm off to Incredible India again, to soak in the Northern Sun with the beautiful Taj Mahal. :D

Despite falling sick, this week is probably one of the happiest weeks in school. Nothing extraordinary happened. Let's us say, 'I've found purpose and contentment amidst the hustle and bustle of my weekly routine'.

On Wednesday, we had an external lecturer for our Kinesiology lecture and practical. He told us that in America, they are moving towards (or have they already attained?) attaining Doctorate for Physical Therapy (American term for Physiotherapy). Also, palpation for Lower Limb is slightly obscene to an onlooker I must say, but he taught us well and professionally. He also helped access my lumbar condition and did some manual manipulation for me. Loosened my joints and taught me several exercises to improve my condition. My back has been well and pain-free so far! I guess this is one of the perks of being a Physio student. :D

Went to the gym on Thursday during our 4 hour break. Yes, Claire Low went to THE GYM. Lol. Some of us did a Physical Fitness Assessment and then got attached to a personal trainer; students of the Sports and Wellness course. I've got 16.8% fat in my body! HAHA! A few of us monkeys went to sign up for Aerobics class even, $2 only! Haha. Actually, I dragged them to sign up with me. :P

Aim for the next week: Put on weight, keep healthy, and study hardy!

I'm sick, but happy.
I wish you were happy too.

BACK TO REALITY.

2009-11-20T18:56:00.016+08:00

Back from a month long hiatus:

I finally found the energy to blog once again.

So much has happened. That itself, is an understatement.

On a lighter note, here's the November babies' parties!

Barron's 21st! :

PARTY PEOPLE!

CLAIRE AND MUSHROOM! :D

FOOD AND BOOZE BABY!

CLICK HERE FOR ALL OF "BARRON'S 21ST!"!

Melly's 20th! :

BESTIE! <3

THE CHURCHIES, GIRLS!

LOOKING AT AH BOY THE PAMPERED BABY.

ISN'T HE JUST THE CUTEST THING! LIKE PUSS IN BOOTS!

MOST YUMMY-LICIOUS CAKE EVER! CHOCOLATE AND BANANA IN RUM!

THE CHURCHIES! :D

CLICK HERE FOR ALL OF "MELLY'S 20TH"!

I was tired. No, I still am tired. Over the past one month I did not know what to update as things were just so volatile. So uncertain and fragile. Being emotionally, mentally and physically tired is a lethal combination. But I'm glad I'm slowly surfacing above the waters to breathe. Short breathes, enough to sustain me till my tests in 2 week's time. Yes, time flies alright.

It flies so fast I have no time to cry, much less keep crying. No time to grasp the situation on hand. No time to process. Am I just floating, mindlessly?

"I can't eat love.". Why is this overly pragmatic side of me conquering, or am I also filling a void in my life, whilst looking for comfort, stability and love, above all.

Ironic. How I sometimes deceive myself.

I don't know how to update about it anymore. It changes, so fast. And I can't please everybody. If you claim you care for me, you will know how much this hurts me. To the very bone. Therefore now, I will not talk. Goodnight world.

Killer start.

2009-10-24T20:20:00.004+08:00

Week one killed me:

I AM SO TIRED.

I had dance so many times this week, almost everyday. I'd end classes sometimes at 6, then rush to the dance studio after a bite of dinner, then train till 10+. I seriously can't cope, I have to cut down. I think I'll drop dead this semester if I don't prioritise.

Clinicals start next week. I'm going alone to a private PT clinic for the first two sessions. =( Lunch on my own sounds pathetic.

On a happier note, BODY WORLDS IS BACK IN SINGAPORE!!!

I remember going for the exhibition when I was still in secondary school and being enthralled by it. Now that I'm studying to be a Physio, this just excites me more so because I have knowledge of Anatomy now and it will definitely add value to what I already know. CADAVERS! YIPPEEE!

I have no time for myself, anything or anyone. Is this the way it should be? Or is this what I have to chosen? It's so hard to please, and so hard to give.

A new beginning?

2009-10-18T23:39:00.008+08:00

TERM STARTS TOMORROW...

Reality check: NEW TERM, NEW GOALS, NEW DECISIONS. NEW PEOPLE.

I dive into the new term with expectionally a lot of "NEW" this year. Not only because I think my results were lacklustre last Sem, but also of the internal conflicts going on within myself. I guess no one really understands how I feel inside, besides Glo. Because she's been just about the only person I have been frankly updating and seeing most of the time during my break. (Thank you glo, <3 )

Basically sweeping things under the rug was never my style, it was always confrontation. Until of course, I lost words to say and now the dust under the rug is near mountainous.

On a happier note, I was sooooo bored yesterday I decided to do up my make-up wishlist: CLICK HERE!

A take away from today's sermon: We pray for the wrong things. We should be praying for spiritual gifts.
"Dear GOD, I pray for forgiveness, strength, dilligence for the new term, and a big heart to do all the above to the best of my ability. Also, may I be open to prayer. I have lost my ears to the World and I need to listen to you once again. Please do not leave me. AMEN."

And off to sleep I go, wishing that the days get better, as always. Will tmr be a better day?

Well, that's how I feel.

2009-10-11T19:38:00.004+08:00

Keep me afloat:

Wisdom 7: 7 - 11

Therefore I prayed, and understanding was given me; I called upon God, and the spirit of wisdom came to me.
I preferred her to scepters and thrones, and I accounted wealth as nothing in comparison with her.
Neither did I liken to her any priceless gem, because all gold is but a little sand in her sight, and silver will be accounted as clay before her.
I loved her more than health and beauty, and I chose to have her rather than light, because her radiance never ceases.
All good things came to me along with her, and in her hands uncounted wealth.

This was today's First Reading. Once I heard it, I turned next to Glo and we both agreed how sweet it was. I told her I want my husband to read this to me when we get married (HAHA). I guess at the end of the day, albeit my bad record with GOD, I am a sucker for all things divine and holy.

And as if everything was and still is a blur,
I see it so clearly.
Yet, only to find that is is not that clear after all.
Even after the fog has cleared,
I can still smell you.

There is nothing better than a strawberry milkshake right now.

2009-10-02T23:30:00.002+08:00

A voice:

You know, even as I'm writing this now, I'm thinking of ways to put in in the least detrimental way.
Sometimes I guess I really am two-faced:
I'm never good with confrontation, though I prefer a confrontation as means of clarification with a person, ironically. Given the former fact, I should evidently refrain from any rash upfront speaking, yet I usually give chase and do so.
Confrontation usually ends up in a mish-mash of verbal nonsense on my part because I usually cannot thinking coherently on the spot and when I'm nervous.
Other common occurances would include an outburst of uncontrollable tears and a wave of the white flag.
And as I leave from the scene, I find myself breathing easy within half an hour (well, mostly depending on the severity of the situation). It's like this inbuilt personality change, that tells myself I can mop no longer than a stipulated period of time lest I die from bursting aterial walls.
I wonder if in my entire life so far, if I have done more right or wrong.

You know, sometimes I feel like I have no self respect for myself. And that in it's entirety, is ridiculously unacceptable.

A wonderful weekend!

2009-09-27T22:26:00.012+08:00

F1 Singapore 2009:

Mr Yeoh had free tickets to the F1 this year. I wasn't too interested in the race itself but more that I could spend time with him. He seems to be busier near his ORD. Le sighs.
The afternoon was hot, stuffy and boring. Night time brought a different air of excitement and curiosity. Our grandstand seats were close, but my ears almost died even with the ear plugs. And all I saw was ZOOM, ZOOM....ZOOM! And off they went only to reappear in seconds.
So we both trooped to picnic at the grass patch in front of the Padang stage. Ah, I could hear-easy then.

Shawne's First Holy Communion! :

My dear Shawne Shawne!

Shawne's beautiful Jie Jies!
Sher. Me. Glo, Melly.

Having fun with her flower headband. Haha.

<3!

And we headed to KFC, her all time favourite!

Yeah, KFC is filling. 0_0

FOR ALL PHOTOS, CLICK HERE!

Smile.

2009-09-23T14:35:00.011+08:00

A BEAUTIFUL DEATH:

"KIDNAPPED"
MODEL: NICOLETTE STEWART

"BODY DUMPING"
MODEL: DAW

"HOOKER'S DEATH"
MODEL: MELODY GOH

"DEATH BY DROWNING"
MODEL: NICOLETTE THAM

"DEATH BY OVERDOSE"
MODEL: CHARMAINE YEOH

WWW.CLAIRESMAQUILLAGE.COM

Results came out today.
Indeed, my GPA is crap-worthy. To me at least.
Thankfully I passed my Physiology, but that kinda pulled me down as it was 8 credits.
Oh well.
On the bright side, I have no sub papers to sit for.
I have to get 3.7 for the next 5 Semesters to get a 3.5 overall to go Curtin.
GREAT.

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...
If you smile

Pray and smile on.

2009-09-21T13:39:00.006+08:00

James 3:16-4:3
Where do all the fights and quarrels among you come from?
They come from your desires for pleasure,
which are constantly fighting within you.
You want things,
but you cannot have them,
so you are ready to kill;
you strongly desire things,
but you cannot get them,
so you quarrel and fight.
You do not have what you want because you do not ask God for it.
And when you ask,
you do not receive it,
because your motives are bad;
you ask for things to use for your own pleasures.

I'm finally blogging again.

Had a much awaited chat with H.I.V.I.P in full yesterday during dinner. Was a good weekend for an update as I have been relief teaching the past week (keeping myself busy during my 6 week semester holiday) and I really needed some familiar socialisation.

Recently,I have been spending Sundays with them. I love Sundays. I like going to church, not just for the sake of it, or for dressing up etc.. I genuinely enjoy church; praying and receiving my weekly dose of spiritual healing. Maybe more so because I am thankful to God for his guidance so careful and close in my personal life, for his forgiveness and his patience with me.

And as we talked last night, though my heart became bitter at a point of time, I knew that there was nothing I could do but pray and smile on.

It is a verbal war I can never win, but inner strength I have to muster.
It is a CHOICE.

On a side note:

I finally had the heart to use my Elizabeth Arden Green Tea Body Lotion. It was sitting comfortably in the box on my dressing cabinet for almost a year as I could not bear to use it. As with all things perishable, I'm glad I used it. I smell great! I sure take Green Tea fanaticism to a whole new level.

Also, SNEAK OF "A BEAUTIFUL DEATH"!

What if...

2009-09-10T01:04:00.004+08:00

I was just thinking:

I had my long anticipated photoshoot on Monday, themed: "A Beautiful Death". I won't give away any photo spoilers this time, sorry folks!

It was a long tiring day and albeit being stung by numerous commando mosquitoes and skipping meals, I felt happy.

I never denied being an arty person. I never excelled at Maths past Primary 4. Science was never my strongest subject either. The closest I got to being left headed was a sub-science subject like Geography. Then again, I was never totally an Arts person, remembering how my History used to suck in Secondary school. But I always enjoyed Drama, Dance, Make-up, Theatre, Photography, Models, Drawing, Singing...

Then again, my sports wasn't that bad either. I got Gold for all my NAPFA tests effortlessly. Could have been a runner I guess, but wasn't trained, and had no chances to explore that field.

Someone said this to me on MSN:

"u look like a career lady!
but u got that drive
like devil wears prada
divorce 10 times kind
u would so fall in love with some1
and realise
career is so important to u
then u divorce
then delude urself once again
with another guy
and over n over!
but ur career climbs
which u would so love"

Which set me thinking: "Omg, am I actually portraying that side of me? Or is this just a single person's opinion?" Because I do feel, that if a MAJOR SETBACK befalls on me, should I one day lose the tenacity to strive for whatever is perfect (in my current opinion), I might just make a 180 degree change.

I think too much sometimes. Is this why communism oppresses the smart and creative? I'm sure they think too much and create a ruckus; a mountain out of a mole hill.

Side-lining,
Personal note of the day: One cannot love a stone.

Study hard, study harder.

2009-09-06T18:10:00.006+08:00

SGH CLINICALS:

I've finally ended my 5-day stint at SGH. Albeit tiring as I had to be on my feet for 9 hours each day, the clinical proved to be very much an eye opener. Like textbooks brought to life. I saw, felt and witnessed an array of conditions that people suffered. Felt their pain and saw their strength.

Personally reflecting, I'm glad I chose this path. Though stressful, medically demanding, with long hours and a meagre pay, there is personal gratification from knowing you helped eliminate someone's pain and increased their well-being. You're helping people and getting paid.

It also showed me how much I do not know. Equipped with just my first semester's knowledge, I felt very incompetent. Though it's only natural I feel that way since I have much more to learn. It also motivated me to work harder. I learnt that to go to Curtin I need a GPA of 3.5-3.8. My goodness. Even getting a 3.0 now is hard. =(

On a side note, there were cute housemen. HAHA. A bit show-off though. They were having their stethoscopes around their neck the whole time during lunch. Which is silly I must say, with their ear pieces an inch away from the soup. -_-

So now, I'm officially on HOLIDAY! Woohoo! Book me for tea people!

I thought I could sleep it off, but no you're still there.
Not one of us would acquiesce, how then, would things work out...

Claire Low cannot breathe.

2009-08-25T19:37:00.003+08:00

Cry me a river:

"WAH. STRESSED." is a term I think I commonly misused in the past 19 years of my life.

Just had my first main tertiary core paper today, Anatomy. Shan't comment on it huh.

So me, being me, basically cheong-ed everything last minute. I know I only have myself to blame, but there really is A LOT to cover in health sciences. First, you learn the exercises. You hardly even understand the concept and there comes practicals. Second, you read the text. And ah, you are enlightened. Third, you try to memorize the points. And then, the semesterals are here. There hardly is time for absorption and permanent stationary input.

Then today, I just found out that we're going for clinicals NEXT WEEK. Wow, immediately after our papers. I'm posted to Singapore General Hospital and kinda looking forward to it actually. =) (Not form the uniform though.)

A senior told me that things will get much worse the following years. *shudders. Well, I guess the moral of the story is to be a consistent ~~mugger~~ student.

I know it's hard on you, on us. I know. <3

1+1=?

2009-08-22T20:22:00.010+08:00

“One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter.”:

1. “A sad thing in life is that sometimes you meet someone who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never bound to be and you just have to let go.”

2. “You want me to act like we've never kissed, you want to forget; pretend we've never met , and I've tried and I've tried, but I haven't yet... You walk by, and I fall to pieces.”

3. “Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart.”

4. "Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better."

5. "Love is not blind - It sees more and not less,but because it sees more it is willing to see less."

6. "God won't ask what your job title was, He'll ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability."

7. Silence is medication for sorrow.

Somehow not all, just that one.
Please don't ask me what happened. Please don't guess either.

Vulgarities will no make you lose / gain weight.

2009-08-15T01:07:00.012+08:00

Why thin people stay thin?

Now I just received my new, long awaited dress in the mail when I try it on and realise that I look like a clothes rack. I mean, others might say I should be telling myself that I am slightly delusional because, "Duh Claire, you ARE a clothes rack."

While others scoff at the atrocity of a skinny girl ranting about her weight while stabbing me with imaginary darts, I forewarn that feeling perpetually thin is NOT a good feeling.

You could debate for hours which is better, being FAT or THIN. I am nonetheless, not a least bit interested. While body conscious kiddos present their online tirade of their physical shells, (READ: HERE) I know for sure that I do not discriminate the fatter people around me, regardless of knowing them personally or not.

Also, I would like to highlight the fact that some society's view on the word THIN is very unbalanced. Some forums view Jennifer Love Hewitt as thin. My GOD, I must be deadly then.

Boney woes aside, Milla Jovovich (another one of my all time hotties) puts size into a beautiful perspective (even though she was given the discriminating public's eye for all that baby fat):

"I'm happy with myself, I'm confident. I think I'm very blessed, I have an amazing life. I have an amazing husband and child. That's what give me beauty. I think it's that knowing that I have so much incredible blessings in my life."

Beautiful mother and baby. Just beautiful.

READ FULL STORY: HERE
WATCH HER VIDEO: HERE

Yes, she gained 75 pounds and LOST IT ALL, DAMMIT.

While being too thin isn't always a good feeling, I have other blessings to be happy about.
So am I'm still wearing that dress? Certainly! With ..... a jacket of course. =)

To kiss a death note.

2009-08-12T21:21:00.002+08:00

And so, may you be happy and never feel the urge to crush your phone again.

FYI.

2009-08-08T15:27:00.003+08:00

This is for the girls who tell me everything I now say:

NOTE: This is generalisation of my personal self and of those I know around me. Every female is thus different. While some might merely throw a bitch fit, others would carnivorously bite the meatus of your urethra off.

Women are sensitive and at times, highly emotional, some bordering on volatile. I do not deny the absurdity it can cause; the numerous mountains I've dug out of a molehill. Yet should most of us react the way we do, as aforementioned on a normal circumstance (I eliminate PMS as an occasion), it can only be due to our innate ability to sense a shift in equilibrium of any matter we place importance to:

You do not contact me even when you're free. You allocate your free time doing other things. I take it that you need your own space. I do not throw a hissy fit. But when you do it repeatedly, ignoring my calls or SMS, Newton's 1st Law starts and I wage war on the issue. When I call you 27 times in the row, I mean business.

I believe that we girls have other issues to deal with such as studying and outdoing our smart-ass bfs in GPA than to kick up a big fuss over nothing.

We know the different between love and possession.
We know when you're listening to us over the phone or playing on the computer.
We know if you're really sorry, even if you're too proud to say it.
We know when you want something really badly and it means the world to you.
We know when we don't know you.

Now that it's over, I really need to save my GPA. Exams on Tuesday, 2 days more, great.

2009-08-05T23:33:00.009+08:00

Look what I dug up!

I'm doing up my study room. Torturing myself with 37kg bookcases. Manually fixing the table, chair and bookcases. Here are some photos I dug up form the albums I cleared out: CLICK HERE!

I just found out from FB that my beautiful ex-ballet friend is a finalist on the NUS ARTS QUEEN 2009. CLICK HERE. So is another CJ girl but I voted for my friend instead. Haha. I always thought she was a beauty potential. I have foresight! Lol.

On a side note, Uni camps always looks so fun. Like wow, pageants and games and BGR stuff. But of course it would be for the better interest of those who are unattached. Then again, it would also spell eye candy galore. Of which I am severely deprived of now.

But Claire, you should be grateful you're doing what you always wanted: Physiotherapy. So now shut up and read your Musculoskeletal Assessment text.

Note to myself: I need to crash his campus when he goes to NUS.

Rich woman's world.

2009-08-02T21:40:00.017+08:00

I CANNOT TAKE IT:

I <3 PATENT NUDE HEELS!

MY MATT POINTED SAND-NUDE HEELS.

The more I look at the Louboutins, the more I feel like crying. I've been searching online for PATENT POINTED nude heels. The closest I've come to it is MATT POINTED nude heels. Otherwise, there isn't my size or there isn't an ongoing spree for it or simply TOO EX. ALDO, I'm coming to you next.

So anyways, I decided to indulge myself on a little ~~window~~ screen shopping on Tiffany & Co.:

A gold cross I might get for my 21st birthday.

A lovely simple pendant that can be engraved at the back.

Super gorgeous rose gold & platinum interlocking rings for a gf. *hint hint. (HAHA)

Another pretty simple engraved ring for a gf.

Yet another, pendant for a gf.

Gold key, to your gf's heart!

If I'm rich, I might just get this on impulse during a breakup. Haha, key to freedom.

But if I get married.....
I adore Blue Sapphires and white gold:

Wedding Band

Engagement ring

Or both together!

Credits to Tiffany & Co.

HE sees from above, and knows, and loves, and understands.

2009-07-26T18:25:00.003+08:00

For my Best Friend, Shawne and Aunty Mag:

<3<3<3
AMEN.

I. AM. TIRED.

2009-07-25T01:15:00.006+08:00

Tired.

The first thing I did when I got back was to plonk my dirty self down in from of my laptop and discuss Sociology project. My contacts was drying up in my eyeballs by the time I went to bathe. I hate projects. Specifically group projects. Not all the time, but most. The social dynamics of: "You're doing everything" to "You're not doing a single thing" is evident, unfortunately, most of the time.

On a lighter note, watched PUBLIC ENEMY with Mr Yeoh and his buddies today. Oh Jonny Depp, I have been your unwavering fan:

SWOONS:

I cannot wait to watch him as the Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland, March 2010:

"If Johnny knows what you did to his little girl, he's gonna kill you fat boy."

F Physiology. FML.

2009-07-20T21:38:00.003+08:00

EMO DINO:

I was this emotional wreck the past few days. Almost every small 'misfortune' became unbearable and I exploded in unparalleled amounts. I know pointing the finger at PMS might seem like an inadequate reason for the emotional outbursts, but (girls, back me up): I really can't help it.

And unfortunately, most, if not ALL of the Hiroshima lands on one person. <3 Then again, boys sometime really do not know how to make things any better. Haha.

I cannot believe that after one exam (which nearly killed us all already), I'm gonna have another exam in FOUR WEEKS. The major one this time.

I am going to be a mugger. Wow whee.

On a happier note...:

Talked to Mummy about getting the IPhone locally and changing my plan to Singtel. Told her I was willing to top-up the cost of the IPhone plan each month. Which would be about $20. She seems agreeable. Now all I have to do is wait for my contract to end. -_-

BAKERZIN MACAROONS!
Had 6 Macaroons yesterday. Pure joy I tell you. =D

Ispahan Macaroon Cake. My birthday? *hint hint. Haha.

BC Printed Floral Shift Dress:

TEE HEE. =D

A breakdown, to recover.

2009-07-17T23:56:00.005+08:00

It's like how they're all now coming back, Bs and Cs.
But never A.
How it's getting better,
But it's never THE BEST.
Sometimes moments might drift past THE BEST.
But I can only smell the whiff of it now as the trail lingers.

Am I asking too much of myself and others?
For some things are just the inevitable.

I'm getting the not-enough-sleep-mild fever. Goodnight.

The most gorgeous & cutest things on earth.

2009-07-13T22:50:00.024+08:00

Meet Memebon, the Cutest Japanse Baby Kitten:

I so want to smell and cuddle her.

CLICK to see more photos: Memebon, the Cutest Japanse Baby Kitten!

And here goes the crazy animal lover:

Lula the terror. =P

Beluga baby whale! He's forever smiling. Such a sweetheart. =)

Beautiful blue eyes.

Most guai little fluff pup.

Gongfu take 1.

Gongfu take 2.

Spaghetti maddness. Yum yum.

Resembles a blonde ang moh baby.

FAT PUP!

Now who's the real bunny?

Awww...

I like round furry birds.

Who's cuter? Ears up or ears down? Corgi pups. =)

I'm warning you, squash me and I'll fart.

SPLAT!

I'm happy, shoo.

PANDA!

RAWR! I'm small but fiesty!

Who's more human?

So which is your favourite? =D

Credits to: cuteoverload.com AND sparklette.net

FML, I have no money to buy Coach

2009-07-12T21:51:00.007+08:00

COACH MADISON LEATHER CHECKBOOK WALLET, USD 258

COACH AMANDA SATIN LARGE WRISTLET, USD 118

COACH ADDISON BUSINESS BAG, USD 698

Haha. I hope I am well behaved and you will buy me one. Tee hee!

Why, there's no asking why.

2009-07-08T18:58:00.005+08:00

Hell Tuesday is over.

I should be happy that hell Tuesday is over. (Physiology, Presentation, Practical all in a day.) Yesterday was just non stop cramming, preparations and a whole load of anxiety. I was sleep deprived for a number of consecutive nights already, and the only thing propelling my body forward was the surge of motivation I can now not muster.

Then today:

We got called back to see our teachers after class. They told us who failed. My GOD, just one day after. Some who did not fail had to redo some components of the practical they felt was not up to standard yet.

I did not fail.

Yes, I should be happy that I was among the few who passed. But the thing that puzzled me most is that those that were called back, ALL except one were from the first half. I do not believe that nobody in the second half failed or performed everything perfectly that they did not need to redo some components.

It's hard how to put how I feel now into words. It's just a very undeserving feeling after an arduous journey. You're worn out, you're worrying not just for yourself but other personal matters. And at the end of the day, you just need a shoulder to cry on.

If crying is how you get pass difficulties, then cry on.
No, but you don't see the logic.

He still hits me.

2009-07-05T19:58:00.004+08:00

Michael Jackson's EARTH SONG:

Load it, it's worth the wait. (super clear!)

Exam week. Left you something to contemplate about.
To an avid Geog student, this song means a lot.

Worse than physics A levels.

2009-07-03T23:22:00.005+08:00

That sick, feeling again.

I've been studying HEART PHYSIOLOGY the past 2 days and I still don't get it.
Yes, the most important organ in our body.
With all due respect: You a hell of a complicated thing.
Even though I hate studying you, please keep me alive.

I cannot pass out before it's all over.

Damn the cramps and the mood swings.
And damn the scream-o me that surfaces whenever I-JUST-DON'T-GET-IT.

f. I need help.

OMG, it's MJ!

2009-07-02T14:56:00.005+08:00

I HAVEN'T HAD TIME TO BLOG, ARGH:

O.M.G, it's Michael Jackson!
(Please watch this, his dancing is incredible. Credits to Slash too, oh the guitar...)

Definately the King of POP. POP and POP literally. Popping inspiring he is.

Couldn't get my hands on 'THRILLER', my favourite MJ video. Much copyright issues on that one on YouTube. Sad. R.I.P MJ. <3

Things on my mind:

Exams exams exams.
Clueless things clueless things clueless things.
Love love love.
Friends friends friends.
Pray pray pray.

Bubble tea bubble tea bubble tea.

All things pretty.

2009-06-20T18:29:00.010+08:00

OH ALL THE FASHION FASHION, KILL ME!

Alexander McQueen:

New dress I bought! Couldn't help it, too pretty. =P

Love the shoes, the HOT PINK soles especially.

The heels, are way high. I want to wear this for graduation baby!

Herve Leger:

Herve leger's designs are way too hot. He makes every women's body so desirable in his clothes. These are a few of my favourites in his Spring and Resort 2009 collection.

BLOODY HOT BODY I WANT TO PALPATE!
KISS HER ASS MEGAN FOX.

SJ's 20th!

Manhattan Fish Market we went!

DIY cake from JP!

Yes Claire, the cake is yummy.

CLICK FOR ALL PHOTOS!

So anyways, my mum's back. Means I've to surrender the car keys from today onwards. =( Learnt a lot the past two weeks on the road. Travelling to places I've never dared drive to, especially at night. Experienced my first road rage the other day when a car flashed on and off his high beam lights at me. Bloody fucktard. Then again there were nice motorists who smiled and signalled to me when I forgot to turn on my headlights or when trying to get out from a narrow parallel parking lot.

Now to really study, which my brain has been at Pentium 1 for a week already. Le sigh.

iPhone 3G S, I WANT!

2009-06-17T00:45:00.005+08:00

I WANNNNNTTTTTTTT!!!!!! :

Heard on the radio the other day the new iPhone 3G S is coming to Singapore. This July. Can't wait. 5 simple reasons why I want it:

There's GPS. I drive now, I need to stop streetdirectory.com-ing and writing directions on post-its for goodness sake.
It's skinny. I like everything skinny (apart from my pets and my bf, hmmm).
It's touch screen!
There's tap-tap (haha) and a whole lot of other downloadable applications.
I've been needing a new phone ever since my dear red SE fell into the loo. So, what's there not to get!

Now to wait for my plan to end. -_-

Also, not to myself: CONCENTRATE ON EXAMS FIRST. STOP BEING AIR HEADED ABOUT THE IPHONE AND, YEAH.

War on the inside.

2009-06-14T23:40:00.002+08:00

A bout of randomness:

For a moment, I feel like I'm going through this uncertainty. It's one of those what if moments. What if I did not __________? What if __________? What is _________? Etc. Etc.

I had a couple of car scares this week. There was a cute puppy lost in the middle of the road today near church. He was lost and trying to avoid the big cars and get to safety. Luckily the drivers took notice of him and slowed down, avoiding any mishaps and the pup got to safety on the other side. He had a collar. That meant he was loved by someone who might be worried sick. I teared and said a silent prayer for it.

Too many times this week I'm caught in the : my-head-tells-me-no-but-my-heart-tells-me-yes situation. I hate it. It either makes me rebel against the other party or my own self.

Sometimes I feel like a loser, for not knowing how to say no. Not necessarily to others, but to my own self.

I have exams in two weeks. I need to bloody snap out of this.

There are more meanings in what I say, than just one.

2009-06-11T10:11:00.005+08:00

Headache, in both ways literally.

My head was throbbing yesterday, since mid-morning. It got worse in the evening then splitting at night. And I was perspiring buckets.

Mum is in Tibet now and I have survived nearly a week of independence. I don't like the shift in control at home, that's all I can say. It annoys me.

Mr Yeoh is back too, safe and in one piece. My heart was beating so fast when I went to fetch him, waiting behind the glass doors. I felt very fortunate, to be so close to the person I love again.

But of course, the inbetweens.

I take risks, many a times against what I know is wrong or will lead to great responsibilities should there be any casualties. Maybe it's the other side of an only child thing, to protect, to be responsible. Because what you have could be lost easily, you tend to hold more importance and high regard for it.

And it is in my nature that I get pusillanimous or discomposed (in short, kan chiong) easily when it comes to certain things like driving in weird situations or when I lose things and I can't find it. But when I'm in such situations, fighting fire with fire will only lead to a disaster.

I take heart in what I do for you. It's not over-trying, I just make sure it's a concerted effort.

I need to gear my head towards more important things now. I was perhaps too swayed by ____.

I've got the car!

2009-06-06T16:39:00.015+08:00

Portfolio pictures!!!

Click HERE for all!

I'm rather proud of myself, the pictures turned out lovely, but I spotted flaws in my work. And I hate it when I don't do the littlest of things correctly and it affects the whole final look. Nevertheless, it was a great experience. Please hire me for your events! HAHA.

I BOUGHT SIMS 3!!!

Okay, so I know I'm just about the few crazy about SIMS. Waited to buy it for ages and when it finally released in Singapore, I snapped it up. Was rather disappointed cause the Standard Edition only comes a day after the Collector's Edition, gah.

Shopping!!!

Finally got my hands on the AE pink lace tube I've been looking for. Didn't feel the way I wanted it to be but it's so pretty. Also, my Old Navy items are finally arriving (very very soon!). Bought the white polo for Mum for Mother's Day. But I think I can wear too la, it's nice. =)

Speaking of which, Mum left for Tibet today (yes, wth I can't go because I've got school, *pouts) which means I get the car for 2 weeks! Drove to school today for CCA. I'm becoming a bum. Lol.

Gonna fetch Mr Yeoh later. *excited!!! He's finally coming back. <3

I am free this week!

2009-05-25T19:18:00.006+08:00

Uncle Tony's last day:

PT0903! After Sociology lecture.

We will miss Uncle Tony (3rd form right) and all his coffee drinking and travel stories. His departure form the course is a loss for our class, we learnt so much from his perseverance, humility and plain eagerness to delve into studying things which he left years ago. He really puts life long learning into reality. I wish him all the best in his future endeavours. =)

Daph's 20th!
Happy Birthday Daffy Chow :

Happy girls! YY. Sher. Berns. Me. Daph. Mel. Jill. Glo.

Happy Churchies!

RAWR!

And so it was another well spent evening with the Churchies. Just food and Taboo and we had fun. Sher's birthday next. Can't wait. =)

Brief updates on the school week:

1. Social dynamics has improved. Greatly. I conclude that PMS is not a good time to be around people I don't know very well. Hmmm. Nevertheless, thanks for everyone's concern.

2. I got into Dance Company. Yay.

3. I have my French test in 2 week's time. We have to do a speech about a famous person and guess who I'm doing it on? CHRISTIANO RONALDO. (Glo, I borrow your hottie for that day ok? Haha.) The reason why I'm doing a speech on him is because I've been telling my friend the photo on Glo's blog looks so palpable. And since we have to describe physical appearance, my friend suggested I use him. And so I am! Hahaha.

4. I drove to St. Mary's yesterday, all the way at Bukit Batok. And I got LOST. Drove around the BKE, Senja Road area THREE FREAKING ROUNDS. GRRRRRR. Waste petrol. Called Dom for help, thanks! Haha.

5. I miss you. =(

P.S: I bought a new dress. Couldn't resist. =P :

The emotionl week.

2009-05-16T02:12:00.003+08:00

And the weeks fly by...

I'm sipping a cup of Peel Fresh Carrot juice, reminiscing the week:

I have never felt so crappy being an army gf till this week. All his busy schedules left me pretty much alone throughout the entire 5 days, bearing all forces of Physio-nature in solitary.

The main problem was that school started becoming a social dunghole. In the past, it kinda was: the more people liked me, the merrier. Gradually it became, the tighter the group of friends I had, the better. Now, all I ask for is one sincere person to be my friend. Just one. I'm thankful again and again for the tight groups of friendship I have established so far. But right now in school, I'm friendly but weary. Week 4 and I'm already experiencing things I don't want to experience. This is not to say that I haven't made any friends. I just don't know yet how good these friends will be in the years to come. Oh the mysteries of social dynamics. I go to school to study, but this is an unwritten module.

Things got better today, AMEN.

One by one, some started voicing out their misgivings about continuing with the course. Some found it unchallenging, others (like me) wonder why we have to learn Physiology to such detail to do Physiotherapy, while some other simply could not imagine doing palpation classes next semester in two-piece. For a moment I saw the truth in people. The truth of admittance. And I heaved a sigh of relief inside, for I was not alone.

I have been questioning myself, what did I get myself into. For 5 years I worked to get here. Now that I'm here, it's not really what I envisioned.

I need that spark again.

3 weeks, till I can lie in your warmth again.
Take care. <3

FLU-ZA!

2009-05-09T18:07:00.005+08:00

I have a bad flu. PHARRRAWWW!

I hate being sick.

Thankfully the swine flu crisis has been lowered to 'Yellow' or I'd been deemed as a 'potential swine flu candidate'. Not to mention the petrified stares of Aunties on the buses, considering the number of times I tried to control my sneezes (only to appear constipated, hmmm).

Anyway, I started giving tuition as of today. She's my ex-pupil, whom I relieve taught last year. She was SOOOOO fidgety I had to turn her swivel chair back front 13713728329 times and tell her repeatedly (in my most authoritative auntie voice), "Hello, can you come back down to earth ah?!", which upon hearing she giggled like it was the funniest thing ever said. She even told me, "Your homework I will do, my old tutor's work I won't do. 'Coz she's ugly. And fierce.". Oh kids.

In addition, I very contented with what I have right now. Everything seems to be in place thankfully. Also, I would like to thank GOD that I have a stable base of friends, who I have grown up with and maintained strong bonds. Bestie, Brady Bunch, H.I.V.I.P, the Churchies, Jill and yes, Mr Yeoh. Without which, I would have to play extra friendly every time I progress form one institution to the next, and that is so not me.

I'm kinda happy this week despite the physical exhaustion. SHALALALALA!

Oh, and Mother's Day tmr! I treated my mum to an online Old Navy shopping spree. Which she took 1 and a half hours to decide what to buy. -_- Lol.

Short short week.

2009-05-01T22:40:00.003+08:00

Mel & Ben's shoot:

For more photos, click HERE.

I've survived two weeks of Physio, albeit this week being a short one. Only had school on Monday ans Tuesday. Wed was PT orientation and student card + textbok collection. Had dance afterwards. By golly, am I stiff or what. My hamstring caused me much agony, which saddened me as I reminisced what I could do in the past and what I simply could not do now. Le sigh. Thursday we had no school because of cancelled lessons so we had class outing, which I only went for lunch.

Watched Wolverine today, which was great! Everyone should go watch it because HUGH JACKMAN IS SUCH A HOTTIE. I'm irrelevant, I know. =D

With hard work.

2009-04-26T23:53:00.001+08:00

Results yesterday:
Professional Make-up Artistry Diploma, with Distinction.

Thank you GOD.

Week 1.

2009-04-25T02:40:00.005+08:00

DRAMAMAMA:

It's only been the first week of school and there's already drama.

Firstly, Physiology class almost made me cry. I did not understand shit as I had not previously taken Bio or Chem. This puts me in a serious disadvantage as those who did told me that it's only a surface skin's scratch of Bio-chem work. GAH. Nevertheless, I take it as good news as I can mug through by mere reading, as my non-bio-chem senior had said. Thankfully, I've bought my Anatomy & Physiology text during the senior's second hand book sale. Oh that super heavy expensive 'bible'!

Secondly, I get nauseous during Anatomy lab classes. The first lab lesson exposed us to the Cadavers (preserved dead bodies). They reeked quite strongly of Formalin and were cut up in the most disgusting ways ever (in halves, medially and transversely), to reveal their insides. When my lecturer pulled apart the biceps to flex the arm, I knew that was it; I was going to puke.

Thirdly, my electives are way cool. I decided to take a language. So now it's between Malay or French. Thought the latter sounds more interesting, the former might be more useful in local hospital contexts. I really can't decide, help!

Fourthly, I decided to join dance again. Though the make-up people are kinda dragging me to join them because I ya-ya and let slip that I had a Diploma in Make-up, only to kinda regret revealing that information after they told me they do mainly stage make-up.

And lastly, relationships are so hard to maintain once you get to Tertiary. I thought army's bad, by heavens, this is ten times worse.

Thank you.
All I want to do now is be silent, not even think.
Truth is, I want the grades more than anything else.
Truth is, I want to enjoy campus life.
Truth is, I'll swim alone, I'll enjoy the scene.

Oh happy day!

2009-04-20T22:27:00.010+08:00

Happy Birthday to my Best Friend in the WWW!

I love my Gorilla. A lot. <3

For more photos, CLICK HERE!

Portfolio day! :

Portfolio day was great. Even though I was dead tired from the previous day's orientation, and feeling flu-ish coupled with insomnia due to the mounting excitement for the big day, I managed to push myself past personal expectations. I finished all 5 looks, exploring styles I could only once fantasize about. I really hope the pictures turn out rad! Thanks to my models Cyn, Vanessa and Mr Spiderman. Haha. Some portfolio teasers!

First day of school! :

All I can say is: WHAT THE HELL IS PHYSIOLOGY. 0_*

HAPPY EASTER!

2009-04-13T00:26:00.008+08:00

My Brady Bunch, always:

Went for Marianne's church play yesterday, entitled: "TREE". Got the car and took the Bradies for a spin. I remembered Missy commenting gleefully, "Claire! You're the youngest and you're driving us! Haha.". Which made me realised, once again, that we're turning to big TWO-O.

And my oh my, are things in my life changing! Things have been considerably smooth sailing of late that I'm rather paranoid, for with the ups come the downs. And hopefully life does not deal me a great DOWN after the countless blessings these past 2 months.

I'm truly grateful for: a blessed Easter, a sponsorship invitation, safe road journeys, my beautiful true friends, the boy for being good (haha), my family, good health and just about anything that sustains me right now.

Photoshoots, Orientation (zmog, I hope I can make new friends. 0_0) and Portfolio photoshoots this week!

My fruitful week.

2009-04-05T23:19:00.008+08:00

ZOODAY! :
The zoo buddies: GLO. BERNS. ME. DAPH. MEL. BEN.

KROKODALE!

Feeding the Manatees!

Waiting for Splash show to begin. =)

I cut bangs again! By this time I was sweaty and everything's kinda outta place. Lol.

The LJB-face monkey wannabes!

My favourite picture of the day by dear Glo, of the 'SPLAT'-FAT-COMFY-LEMUR!

For more ZOODAY! photos, CLICK HERE!

030409:

Happy Anniversary, and hopefully many more years to come.
These 4 years have been fulfilling with you by my side.
We still fight a lot, but that's the way we roll.
It's the renewed sense of happiness, after a squabble.
The moments you do somthing wrong and I'm awfully cross (but you know, never), I cherish the most.
Your wit and acquired humor still tickles my fancy.
LOVE YOU LA. =)

PHYSIO!

All I can say is, by GOD's grace, I'm going to study Physiotherapy and fulfill my ambition. Not many people get to see their wishes granted, but I do. Even after being down in the dumps, he somehow paves a way through all that shit. For a person who erased a lifetime ambition because of the odds, this second chance, this chance in itself, means a whole damn lot.

2009-03-28T23:39:00.005+08:00

I've learnt that...

I'm PMS-ing. And I get very (sometimes extremely) emotional during this period. Anniversary next week, 4 years, long enough to put things into perspective...

Mood: I am listening to the SYF piece. Contempt; slow, calming, then it crescendos, almost sounding dangerous. Music fades. At the end it's a triumphant uproar. It uplifts me.

What is it with you that I fell in love with? You were a breath of fresh air, a mysterious creature so opposite from me yet so akin. You felt different to my touch. I was curious, I started to love you. From then on, I loved a boy.

But boys worked differently from girls I soon realised. You got angry at certain things I would not have. You would yell and say things I never would say as a girl to you. You'd stomp off and leave me crying and yet you'll look to kill. You'd be jealous and protective and hurtful all the same. You broke my heart into fragments, and it was then, I swore I never would love a boy again.

Then time passes and wounds started to mend themselves. But it was as if boys had magic potions to intoxicate you this badly, I become sleepless and tearful; you were all I thought about. You were the reason I took risks and the one to share my burdens. The reason I saved half the burger, knowing I was hungry but I was sharing it with you. I knew then, that the boy came before myself.

Of course naivete we outgrew and you were speaking things I couldn't understand. It was men talk and men needs which I couldn't accept nor comprehend. I was no longer the only girl you talked about. I had to be open-minded, that certain things you had to try. I taught myself to be less jealous, to trust you for who I knew. Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus. I never fully understood, but I was learning to trust a man.

Growing up, they feel almost inseparable, bordering on dependent. When you are this close you doubt it: You doubt how much you ever know about each other. You doubt how you can ever live with each other. You doubt how long you can ever love each other. In truth, I loved too deeply to believe myself.

And that's how some don't make it. It's not an easy race. But I've learnt that the opposite sex
is an interesting one, they make you stronger and more vulnerable, both at the same time.

You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test

Thank you GOD.

2009-03-23T20:22:00.003+08:00

I was on the verge of giving up...

I was very upset, last Friday. It was raining, we were fighting, I was listening to good news from all over that didn't belong to me. Only one thought was persistent: "I feel like I'm watching lives go past mine, all over again. People are moving on while I'm stuck in this rut.". That sick, sunken feeling I never want to relive ever.

But as dear Glo posted:

"There has no temptation come your way that is not common to all mankind, but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond your strength, but will, when you are tempted, also make a way to escape, that you may be able to bear it." - 1 Corinthians 10:13

And then good news reached me when I came home: I am finally on my way to becoming a healthcare professional. An ambition which I had aimed and worked towards since Secondary 4. An ambition which suites my personality; which allows me to care for others.

As I write this, I feel like crying. I remember the sacrifices. The disappointments. The voices of lost hope which told me I was just chasing an futile dream. Now all that is silenced.

All I hear now is the sound of an unwritten, exciting future.

To those that love me, and believed in me, thank you. <3

MEOW!

2009-03-20T22:38:00.017+08:00

Child's play:

Getting started, giggle giggle.

Glo's "Artist at Work!".

Flawless skin! *jealous jealous...

Getting there...

BAO QIN TIAN. HAHA.

SUPER ADORABLE...

Kitty eyes...

Shawne says, "I want the bronze lipstick.".

Finished close-up 1.

Finished close-up 2.

Look at the reluctant face. Haha.

Shawne's paper bag twin. Lol.

GJEH GJEH...!

After MUCHHHH persuation to give a good rwar!

The cleansing ritual. Haha.

*Much thanks to my dear Shawne Shawne for the baby smooth face (and her Gjeh Gjeh for the persuasion plus guilt trips imposed, haha).

Someone once commented: "I just wish I could be as hopeless a romantic as you. Cause, the truth is. I miss my sense of daydream and wonder when it comes to relationships. Guess reality does that to you."
That was almost 2+ years back. I still remember the pain. Please don't bring it back again.
Cause this time, I think I love you more than before.

Sometimes, things are beautiful.

2009-03-13T20:05:00.007+08:00

Say hello to my new baby:

After much squirming, pondering, asking and calculating, I finally got my CANON EOS 450D (a.k.a Digital Rebel XSi 45OD)! The only thing good about the IT fair is the bundles. Threw in so many free stuff which I lugged home heavily. Now I need to read the thick manual, experiment madly, and then shoot away!

BLARDIE PAINFUL HUH!

Erh!

My bruised fighter!

We were suicidal!

Face painting, incorporating make-up. My poison ivy!

Blessed life, sad life,
Sometimes I cannot tell.
Her words like gun shots,
Are ringing in my head.

Blessed life, sad life,
Really, I cannot tell.

Rock bottom.

2009-03-07T00:42:00.005+08:00

Face painting, CHINESE OPERA!!!

Female character, by me.

The mask which was going to be painted on my face, rawr!

Completed work of art!

With costume. (I'm supposedly the male court jester, hmmm.)

Acting fierce. LOL.

If I'm happy, friends, it's just because I have to. GOD really thinks I can shoulder these disappointments. And oddly enough, I am. You can't say that I'm unhappy, but truth is, it hurts too much. It's a miracle I still have the courage to hope for something better, in this aspect at least. And it's a miracle what love can do. It can hold you when you've hit rock bottom.

Thank you, I managed to smile again with your little egg and once again, your outright wit. <3
And thank you, for your listening ears, always. <3

Can life get any more crappy?

2009-03-05T23:37:00.003+08:00

Trip down memory lane...

I took 170 to Jurong today. It was a long ride and I was alone and sleepy. There was nothing racing through my mind; I was happy and content (not with the weather though, but it's been wonky for so long already it's becoming predictable). I was not fighting with the boy, classes have been fun, I recuperated my broke state with my sales (I am still kinda broke I guess, just less broke!). I am generally very pleased with my life right now...

The bus passed by many places I visited during JC. To be truthful, I don't know how I got past those JC days. Apart from the academics which I was always lost in, I can't imagine how I survived the whole emotional strain and still come out, headstrong. He was the wind which swept me off my feet, but I did not fall on a cloud. Amazing how it's going to be 4 years soon when it almost ended at just 2.

And so it went by: CCAB and Botanic Gardens, remembering sports days and our eco-challenge. Island creamery, after SYF practice binging with daph and class outings. Steff's house, a fond memory of many class gatherings. Then I was near his camp. The West and Central areas are so far yet so close to me.

It was like a sign; serenity. To show me that life has indeed been a crap hole but just as rewarding with every passing year. I was near tears. I could not believe that what I thought in my life I had accomplished so little, is actually tantamount to a great 2 decades. Given some thought, I have actually done so much, gone through so much. And the best part is, I've pulled through.

And so when tomorrow comes. I will brace it with a certain tenacity that is always there. The one which propped me up when I lost a part of me, when my heart was broken, when my self-esteem shriveled, when I had to redo this thing, which is making me worry in the first place.

Heartbreak in two days.

2009-02-28T22:16:00.003+08:00

It's a rainy day.
I wish I could feel the warmth from your skin
Or watch as our toes get soaked, wrinkled.

Do you still love me?
I must look hideous in this downpour.
I must look like I'm crying.

But I am crying.
As heavy as the rain falls down tonight.

Sing me a rain song.
Tell me it's alright.
Don't get choked up.
You know it takes two hands to clap.

A series of misfortunate events?

2009-02-26T17:57:00.002+08:00

First and foremost, I have BLACK hair:

I could not stand how red lipstick just looks all wrong with ah lian cha-pa-lan brown hair,hence went to Mustafa, bought black hair dye on impulse and turned my toilet sink all black just to get over my queasiness with lip-hair mismatch.

And Cosmo's been super fun!
1980s Disco look:

My make-up artist for the day and I!

Catwalk/ Ramp look:

Yeeeaap. Sometimes I have immaculate skin. Sometimes only. Hmmm.

Our creations on each other.

My Foxy Sasha Fierce!

The Doctors':

Ever since I stopped dancing, I lost 2kg. I've also noticed the slight weight loss taking effect on my clothing, though they are really small changes. And after hearing that I can't join SIA because of my weight and also after he told me to put on some weight (yes, after almost 4 years), I decided to be more pro-active in my quest to gain weight.

I just came back from the dietitian and well, news is that weight gainers might have no effect on me at all (like wow, couldn't I just guess that already). I would just put on the weight and perhaps lose it quickly once I stop taking it. She recommended taking lots of snacks. Hence I give myself permission to snack at all times and I'm gonna carry around my homemade Martha Stewart brittle bars wherever and whenever from next week onwards.

Main aim: Hit 45kg. To do so, make sure my tummy does not rumble once at all throughout the day.

And as he puts it: "You're outstanding...!" :

I woke up late, dropped my phone into the loo, faked my warranty date, and am praying that the 50/50 chance of it getting repaired just gets damn lucky. Outstanding right, enough said.

KERMIT THE FROG!

2009-02-22T22:42:00.001+08:00

As much as Bert and Ernie sound gay as hell, I really admire their friendship:

Ernie: Hey, Bert.
Bert: What is it, Ernie?
Ernie: You know, Bert, I just remembered I didn't put away all my toys. I left a big mess in the other room. Do you think I should get up and clean that stuff up now?
Bert: Ernie, it's time to go to sleep now. You can do that in the morning.
Ernie: It's pretty messy in there, Bert.
Bert: Well, Ernie, you're just a little messy. I've learnt that. I'm used to it. Let's go to sleep.
Ernie: You know, Bert, you're a real friend. I'm messy and you don't like it messy, but because I'm you're friend, you don't mind too much if I'm messy.
Bert: Well, not too much, Ernie. Let's just go to sleep.
Ernie: But that's what a friend is, Bert. I mean, not minding too much because you like someone. That's a friend, Bert. A pal. Not minding, that's what friends are for!

How many of us can be like them?

And just a little cam-whoring for the 1940s look:

P.S: MY HAIR IS JET BLACK NOW! LALALA. BYE BYE AH LIAN HAIR AND HELLO RUSSIAN, ERM, WANNABE!

The guy behind THE MUPPETS and KERMIT, THE FROG:

Many of the things I've done in my life have basically been self-taught. I think we, as the Muppets, broke new ground because we approached puppetry from a different angle. I had never worked with puppets when I was a kid, and even when I began on television, I really didn't know what I was doing. I'm sure that this was a good thing, because I learned as I tackled each problem. I think if you study- if you learn too much of what others have done, you may tend to take the same direction as everybody else.

HAPPY VDAY!

2009-02-14T21:35:00.004+08:00

For you, who taught me how to love. Through hardships, jealousies and beautiful moments:

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered,
When wished on the morning star.
Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it.
Look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing,
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me.

I had a great Valentine's Day. Amen.

Of shades and hues.

2009-02-11T17:27:00.006+08:00

Glorious make-up!

So my days have been well spent. Even though I haven't woken up earlier than 11am for many months. =/ I drive to the MRT when I can get the car, then head down to Dhoby Ghaut for lessons, run errands (like buy more make-up stuff, do meet-ups, buy my jewellery parts, meet so and so for lunch/tea/dinner etc etc.), head home and the day's basically over.

And everyday after lessons, I look like I'm going for prom. -_- I honestly don't like the whole get up I leave class with, generally because I'm not a foundation girl and everyday it's as if I'm either going to prom/ wedding/ performance. It depends. Some days I look like I'm from SIA (when my partner uses blue eye shadow).

Today I came home looking like this:

We did evening bridal today. And mine was the most nude already because I brought my Bobbi Brown shimmering nudes palette, phew. Otherwise, everybody looked kinda WHOA. I did this for my partner:

And then I bought this, 78 colour palette online (couldn't resist!):

I love this MAC ad! :

Somedays I wish I could be a model and do all these cool prancing-around-chasing-cute-black-cats-and-wearing-frew-frew-looking-dresses. Hard work, but exciting!

Day well spent.

2009-02-09T19:39:00.008+08:00

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button:

Went all the way to the West yesterday to meet Mr Yeoh as he had duty. Managed to drag him to church at St. Mary of the Angels, which is a gorgeous modern church. And then had Botak Jones at one of the coffee shops along Bukit Batok.

Then we headed to Jurong Point, which is freaking huge and crowded. After much nonsensical deliberation between him and his wallet, and with the magic of an Officer's SAFRA CARD perks, we decided to watch sexy Brad Pitt. *swoons.

As usual, everything we catch a show together, I'm clueless about the plot beforehand. Maybe because we always end up watching a show he's interested in and not really the other way round. But hey, Brad Pitt definitely made it worth it! The special effects were fantastic. The facial mapping of the character's features onto the older/younger characters were flawless. Coupled with Cate's captivating ballet, it kept me fixated for nearly 3 hours without having the need to pee. (Which is incredulous, I must say.)

Cate has this pair of alluring eyes which I find so memorizing.

Elle Fanning, the younger female lead character. Super pretty lil' red head who happends to be Dakota Fanning's younger sister.

It was a day well spent, I couldn't ask for anything better.
I miss your nonsensical wit and humor already.<3

PLAIDS!

2009-02-02T17:40:00.004+08:00

IT'S THE SEASON OF PLAIDS!

Love my new Zara shoes. Lalala. Not a gossip girl I am, nevertheless, plaids are real pretty!

Why hurt.

2009-01-30T23:51:00.004+08:00

I watched a show today on Star World.
It was called 'Worst Scenarios', I think.
An estranged husband stabbed his wife suddenly in public.
Stabbed her stabbed her stabbed her.
It was gruesome.
"I never want to be in such a situation."

Then I realised,
I got stabbed too.
Verbally.
It's actions often go unnoticed to the public eye, but its wounds cut deep.
You never stop, do you.

Fred Perry stocks:

The DHL delivery man was not very nice. He left the huge box outside my door and didn't even offer poor me a hand in bringing them in. I spent that morning, packing and unpacking. Counting, then double counting orders. Checking every piece by hand. Here are some photos, mainly of the shoes as I didn't want to unwrap the shirts or I'd have to refold and repack them again. Ma fan.

Blissfully passing time.

2009-01-24T20:13:00.004+08:00

Lots of Brady LOVE!

Met up with the lovelies yesterday for our Brady 'reunion dinner'. Much loves to all the Bradies, who have stuck through thick and thin with me for years, and for years to come. <3

On the other hand, I'm quite nonchalant about reunion dinner this year. Nevertheless, it just means that I'll get to see Mr Yeoh for a whole week and that my course is starting soon. Hip hip hurray. Another thing to be excited about is the arrival of my Fred Perry goods. They are so awesome. They send a DHL order tracking mail to me everyday. It has reached the DHL dispatch center, from London to Singapore already. TEE HEE.

Meanwhile, I'm working on my new VDAY collection:

Sold the above 2 pieces already. But should be able to have remakes of them. They don't look VDAY-ish at all, but that's why I show them. Working on the couple bracelets and best friend tags. Hope I can finish all by this weekend then I can start taking in orders! *crosses fingers.

FRED PERRY SPREE MADNESS.

2009-01-20T20:19:00.002+08:00

FRED PERRY WINTER SALE SPREE:

I am such a funny fool.

I started the spree the very reason being to share shipping costs as I wanted to get a pair of shoes from FP for myself and for him. Whilst waiting for the others to make decisions, my item went OOS. Infuriating. So I went round and round asking for opinions on which other pair to settle for. In the end: I wanting to buy from another site and closing the spree for other people, not getting anything out of it but more work for myself. Smart.

AND THEN, I wanted to get this shoe from another sale too:

But the company doesn't accept cards from banks outside UK. And to pay using my PAYPAL, I gotta pay a fee of $20 just to ask DBS to transfer money to my PAYPAL. Because DBS is the only Singapore bank that does not do online internet banking transfers to PAYPAL. SPLENDID.

But just then, Fred Perry decided to be nice to me and cut their sales prices further:

Yup. So I bought all these and made friends with a very cute uber-excited-over-FP girl who ordered a lot as well.

[EDIT] It's now 1:40AM and I just finished the second Fred Perry spree. So many orders and so many OOS items that I had to change and all. Then my card failed at checkout. Called the bank in the wee hours of the morning only to realise that my card was locked by them as my transaction was big. It's for security reasons. Finally managed to get authorization and make purchases. AMEN. I'm never doing another spree ever again. Unless I so terribly need something. GOODNIGHT. [/EDIT]

Anger post. Will delete when the mood subsides.

2009-01-17T22:50:00.003+08:00

I feel murderous, I really do.

So much that I could castrate in my sleep, oh hell, trust me.

Is it me or do I care too much and you care too little? Not just for each other boy, but for the whole world out there. Or perhaps to you, there isn't a world out there. Knock knock, THERE IS. As much as you hate it, there is something called interpersonal relationships. And this anger (I won't elaborate), is mainly because you crossed the line.

I'm holding up an invisible sign that says: "I WANT TO HELP YOU.". In fact, it has been there for so long it should be corrected to: "I HAVE BEEN HELPING YOU.".

And when you question my understanding and patience far too many times, I feel like eating up that sign.

Oh GOD. I cannot help but feel angry. I haven't been this angry in a long long time. I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING ABOUT THE A WORD. Once I cared, now I give up about that.

Meanwhile, on to happier things:

I start my COSMOPROF INTERNATIONAL PROFESSIONAL MAKE-UP ARTISTRY DIPLOMA on 2nd Feb. Yay. Glad to be able to do it before the full swing of school starts. Not like I'm afraid of work or studies much now. Nothing of the sort fazes me after a year of dead independence and too much tears over my past laziness. I don't want to turn 21 just yet but I think I'm already there. Crap.

Anna Wang.

2009-01-12T20:04:00.005+08:00

I have a fetish for Asian Models:

ANNA WANG, VOGUE CHINA JUNE 2007. CLICK THE ABOVE, A MUST SEE!

She doesn't look one bit complete asian. 0_0

I have never heard of her till my recent Google-ing of models, the good and bad of it all (FHM GND flops, Victoria Secret boob-up angels etc.). And my-my, is she one talent. She has this respected edge about her, I can't place my finger on it. She isn't exactly very sexy, feminine or pretty, yet she kinda has a good balance of it all, in just the right proportions. AND SHE'S A MOTHER. Gosh. What's up with models maintaining their fantastic figures. Life is unfair. And she's 179cm. Amazing, amazing.

She tops my all time favourite list ahead of Adriana Lima now. Woot.

Hotties and Notties.

2009-01-09T12:51:00.002+08:00

"I'm proud to stand beside a man who's integrity shines like a diamond in the dust.
I'm proud to be an army wife."

I'm hooked on Army Wives. It's such a beautiful show. I think every army gf should watch the show, the wives are admirable. *salutes. I can totally relate to the wives having their own code of conduct and how the husbands have to draw that unspoken line of secrecy. Perhaps dating a Singaporean NS boy/man isn't the same as an actual US soldier (with all the never ending wars and aid that they have to attend to), but that whole 'country duty' lingo is universal.

Meanwhile, the VS 2008 fashion show was awesome! (I think Nana and I have this inner secret lesbo thing, we go crazy over VS shows.) After a while you get tired of seeing the stencil carbon copy models and every time one that looks different appears she suddenly looks a notch hotter. And the fake boobs, are such a turn off. I'm so sad to find out that my all time hottie Adriana Lima got imps. Sighs. Eye candy, nevertheless. Enjoy:

Accomplishment.

2009-01-08T01:30:00.006+08:00

My best collection so far:

I'm proud of myself, but my heart aches.

Birthday girl & New Year. =)

2009-01-01T19:33:00.010+08:00

HAPPY 19TH TO ME!
AND HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009! :

I'm finally 19. I kinda like my birthday cause it's a significant date, and I always have company during that day. The afternoon started with a shower, which I had worried about. Thankfully, it drizzled away. H.I.V.I.P (except melly belly =( ) had dessert at Breeks, which we all miss fondly:

Mdm Faiz & Sir Gopal + H.I.V.I.P.

Bestie and our Nutella milkshake. =D

"I WANT BIG BOOBS!" (NOT.) (ERR, MAYBE JUST BIGGER. HAHA) Card from H.I.V.I.P.

Birthday girl, yo.

After dessert, headed down to Pasir Ris beach for our humble New Year gathering. There, I was told to close my eyes. I half epected a huge ice-cream cake to pop out and the melody of "Happy Birthday" to be sung, but lo and behold! He popped out from nowhere! (After I was made to shout: "I WANT A HUGE ICE-CREAM CAKKKKEEEE!!!!".) He whispered happy birthday in my ear and when I opened my eyes there was a lighted TUNA CURRYPUFF as cake. Lol. (HE KNOWS I HATE TUNA, SO PURPOSELY!)

THE ONE WHO LIED THAT HE COULD NOT BOOK OUT AND MADE ME SO SAD FOR A WEEK AND THEN APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE.

The hours waiting for 2009 to arrive was spent playing TABOO, Girls versus Boys. It was hilarious: watching the boys struggle at the cheeem words, all the *censored words used to deliberately distract both teams etc. I still don't know who won though.

The Girls team, listening intently.

Playing with SPARKERLS AH!

Then I had another surprise; a present hunt! And yet another birthday song and the yummy cake he bought for me. =)

HAPP BIRTHDAY TO ME!

ONE OF MY HIDDEN PRESENTS!

Ended off the night ushering in 2009 and playing some drinking games (which I only sipped!) and then headed home by car. Thank you everyone for coming and for singing 4 birthday songs. XOXO!

More photos: ALBUM 1 & ALBUM 2!

Cooking with Love.

2008-12-29T14:41:00.002+08:00

I think cooking is a very romantic thing to do:

Spicy Tiger prawn Linguine with sweet basil!

They say that food is a way to a man's heart. It probable applies to me, strangely. I find a man that can cook extremely charming (given that he is not cooking with arrogance, to show off how he's better than me in a predominantly female task, and that I should be ashamed if I am not on par or if not worst than he is).

So we spent Sunday afternoon cooking, and enjoying the fruits of our labour. (Though he'd prolly say that he cooked and all I did was cut, chop & mess up, which I would refute.) Best pasta I've ever eaten. Sorry, secret recipie!

I'm still sad that he can't book out on my birthday. =( Which leaves me to add, that it is in 2 days, and I still haven't made plans with H.I.V.I.P yet!

Random makings.

2008-12-27T21:28:00.007+08:00

Christmas cupcakes! :

Custom headband for this girl:

I can't wait for my birthday, like finally.

Merry Christmas 2008!

2008-12-25T22:27:00.010+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2008!!!

Our annual christmas tree shot!

Bestie!

Me. Daph. Feli. Glo. Sher. Outside church after midnight mass. =)

TAK GLAM! Playing Wii Bowling at Jon's after mass.(Haha. Look at Jerri boy.)

Mother Mary and peasant. Ahem. Lol.

I LOVE CHRISTMAS.
I LOVE THE CHURCHIES.
<3

When will you be beside the tree with me..
Never, apparently.

So here's my lifelong wish
My grown up christmas list
Not for myself
But for a world in need

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal the heart
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end oh,
This is my grown up Christmas list:

Like a dagger.

2008-12-21T21:55:00.004+08:00

It's a love story:

so i sneak out to the garden to see you
we keep quiet because we’re dead if they know
so close your eyes
lets keep this down for a little while

cause you were romeo i was a scarlet letter
and my daddy said stay away from Juliet
but you were everything to me
and i was begging you please don’t go and i said

romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I’ll be waiting all there's left to do is run
you be the prince and I’ll be the princess
its a love story baby just say yes

Sometimes, the lines of right and wrong are only dictated.
I miss the moments already:
The eyes of first morning. Real, unassuming.

Commissioning ball.

2008-12-17T20:48:00.004+08:00

Commissioning ball, Ritz Carlton, 17th Dec 2008:

Yeeepp... Don't ask me why either!

In my opinion, balls are quite boring.
Firstly, there's no dancing. Like ballroom dancing or slow dancing. Secondly, majority of Singaporeans hardly have any dinning etiquette (TRUST ME). And lastly, there's lots and lots of socializing to do! Which thankfully for, I saw quite a number of CJsians, even one at my table. This made talking so much easier as I didn't have to start to know a person from scratch. Never did talk to them in school until yesterday. Haha.

I started off on the wrong foot by drinking (everyone knows I can't drink for nuts). They served champagne at the lobby, which I greedily drank (because gloria wasn't there to give the THE EYE. Haha.). A moment later I seriously felt like fainting. I held on to him tightly:

Me:"Omg. I feel like fainting. How how."
Him: "Haha loser la you! You're all red. No need to put make up already la."
*drags me to the mirror.

During the meal, the server asked if I wanted some red wine (of course I did, hello!).

Me: Okay sure! Him: NO!

The lady stood there, confused. Hand tilted in mid air with the bottle, until of course I submitted and asked for Coke. Which I had all night. -_- But Mr Yeoh did look handsome in his Number 2, though I preferred it without the funny jacket, tie and ding dangs. Boring, but a night to remember, which I'm thankful for. =)

India/ Sikkim 2008

2008-12-12T19:00:00.018+08:00

INDIA WAS GREAT!!!

I never had so much fun in a looonnggg time. I miss the moutains and the cold air already. =( Thankfully I'm back in one piece, despite the Mumbai attacks, which resulted in heightened security EVERYWHERE in India. Travelled to most parts of Sikkim, which is part of India and is near the borders of Tibet and China as well. The people of Sikkim are REALLY GOOD LOOKING and also REALLY NICE. That made it really hard to leave the place. Here are some of the better photos:

MY HANDSOME! After I took his photo, he looked at me shyly and said, "thank you...". Super sweet kid.

Mr Ang moh (who's really purely Sikkimese), whom my mum played hours of football with.

My guide's daughter, Rachu.

Having tea after a trek in the horrible cold!

Prayer wheels, praying for 2009!

OTHELLO! Dogs that look like this are revered as they look like snow lions, which protect the monastries.

Awww.... It's hair is softer than mine!

For more photos, click here for ALBUM 1 & ALBUM 2.

I guess I'm really lucky to have the opportunity to travel to so many places, which have opened my eyes to how I want to live life next time. If I could, I'll migrate. To somewhere peaceful and quite and I can have land to farm and clean fresh air to raise my children. Though it may not be as easy as it seems, city life really irks me. Sometimes.

Hols.

2008-11-28T17:50:00.002+08:00

Goodbye Singapore and Hello India!

IHATEBEINGSICK!!!

2008-11-25T20:22:00.003+08:00

What goes around comes around:

Get a girlfriend and stop being bastardos.
Gossip gossip gossip. Tsk tsk.

I'm sick again.

My immune system has been terrible of late. I'm so worried I'll develop Pheunomia when I leave for India. I can't wait to take lots of Polaroids and pictures of the beautiful scenery, drink lots and lots of Darjelling tea and buy my leather goods!

Anyways, I'm finally done with the last batch of orders which have been driving me crazy because some parts were out of stock and I had to mass e-mail eveyone affected/ change orders etc etc... GAH.

I HATE BEING SICK. IT AFFECTS MY MOOD.

Post exams activities.

2008-11-20T16:37:00.009+08:00

A taste at housewife-ing:

I hand picked the white, pink and red dots out of the 'Hundreds & Thousands' bottle. 0_0

For the Valentine, the Kids and the Fruitty!
(Topped with cream cheese frosting, super yum!)

A boxful for you! (They look like ice-creams.)

Freshly baked red velvet cupcakes!

Organic Cashew nut brittle bars. For the health conscious!

Macaroons from Canelé!
(Rose, Violet & Pistachio)

Nougatine Ice-cream from Canelé!

For bringing me peace.

2008-11-17T14:21:00.013+08:00

Avenue Q was awesome!
(I LOVE KATE MONSTER!)

YOU WORK REAL HARD
AND THE PAY'S REAL LOW
AND EV'RY HOUR
GOES OH, SO SLOW
AND AT THE END OF THE DAY
THERE'S NOWHERE TO GO
BUT HOME TO AVENUE Q!

Avenue Q was awesome awesome awesome. Full puppet nudity gave me a real shock though. Nana and I were screaming our heads off and did I mention she burped real loudly in the theater at Esplanade. I was like, ZMOG 0_0. Haha. Definitely worth my $64. We even bought the soundtrack, so I half expect myself to be listening to my Ipod and humming the tunes for the next month or so. Bystanders, friends and bf brace yourselves!

The good sermon:
(CAN, Iron Man)

Please watch the videos.

Yesterday Father gave a very touching and appropriate sermon. In fact, yesterday's whole mass was I think very apt to whatever I am going through right now. The Gospel was about a Master giving his servants talents (a talent is about a thousand dollars) and how they made use of each amount. " 'Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.' " Matthew 25:14-30

God gives everyone talents. Faith, which brings us to church every week. Love, patience, creativity, academic knowledge etc etc. He gives us talents according to our capabilities, never none at all. I should stop looking at what society thinks as a talent, but what GOD greatly bestowed upon me.

Random things:

Swarovski bracelet requested by Glo's mummy.
Charm bracelet for heylingo.

Thank you GOD, for sending me your message; for the peace. <3

For you.

2008-11-14T13:29:00.003+08:00

[EDIT]

The Supremacy of Love (1 Corinthians 13:4)

If I speak in the languages of humans and angels but have no love, I have become a reverberating gong or a clashing cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can understand all secrets and every form of knowledge, and if I have absolute faith so as to move mountains but have no love, I am nothing. Even if I give away everything that I have and sacrifice myself, but have no love, I gain nothing.

Love is always patient;
love is always kind;
love is never envious
or arrogant with pride.
Nor is she conceited,
and she is never rude;
she never thinks just of herself
or ever get annoyed.
She never is resentful;
is never glad with sin,
but always glad to side with truth,
whene'er the truth should win.
She bears up under everything,
believes the best in all,
there is no limit to her hope,
and she will never fall.

Love never fails. Now if there are prophecies, they will be done away with. If there are languages, they will cease. If there is knowledge, it will be done away with. For what we know is incomplete and what we prophesy is incomplete. But when what is complete comes, then what is incomplete will be done away with.

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, thought like a child, and reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up my childish ways. Now we see only an indistinct image in a mirror, but then we will be face to face. Now what I know is incomplete, but then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known.

Right now three things remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.

In situation like these: Faith says: I trust you, even though I don't understand.
In situation like these: You always win the argument.
In situation like these: I pray, that another situation like this never happens again.
In situation like these: I hold on tighter to your strengths, and run further from your weaknesses.

[/EDIT]

Why GOD why.

2008-11-13T16:29:00.006+08:00

SUPRE SPREE:

DENIM MINI WITH POCKET BINDING SKIRT, AU$15 (sale larh).
(Also, sign of another bout of sadness)

There hasn't been a night since Day 2 I haven't cried.
Every night the question of completed papers pop up in my mind like bullets, drilling into my head the mistakes I made because of the nerves during the exams.
"It shouldn't be this way. You didn't have to put yourself through this. If only you let go and applied for something else. You wouldn't have to go through this all again if only you had listened. Listen."
And so Tuesday is coming and really, I wish that that Monday had never even come.
That the papers were still fresh, not attempted.
I want to redo everything.
But how possibly can I be dreaming.

So embarrassing to say this, but this is the first time I actually studied, studied since P4 and it hurts to know that my efforts have come to naught.
Why GOD why.
Tenacity. Tenacity, claire.

Pretty things.

2008-11-10T10:00:00.003+08:00

Pretty things:

Exams have been disappointing (not with the papers but with myself), and you know, I make stuff when I'm sad.

Random things:

Yesterday, I was an agitated walking time bomb as Mr Yeoh 'abandoned' me in my 3 inch heels, standing by myself for mass. The WHOLE mass. Because he was being a Snorlax at home. Probably the worst way to celebrate your birthday by making your gf super angry. All my plans, my dress up, my hair and face treatments that I did the night before to prim myself all came to naught.

And I even wanted to bake. Thankfully, I did not.

So I lugged the bag of present home and sat there making stuff, when really we should have been, well..

If you had not called me at night to explain yourself, boy, I was this close to deleting you from my memory for the week.

God save me.

2008-11-07T20:34:00.005+08:00

KILL ME:

This is probably the prettiest pair of satin shoes I posses right now. $25, from LJ.

After a terrible week of papers and simply for my sheer hard work and perseverance this year, I decided to reward myself with my own Christmas and birthday present:

SIGNATURE BUSINESS MADELINE, USD$478, SGD$889

OR

BLEECKER SIGNATURE TOTE, USD$298, SGD$675

I can't decide. =/

Honestly, retail therapy only proves one thing. I can only hope for the best. This year has been too long, yet too fast.

Why, just tell me why.

2008-11-04T22:10:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, I hate my ~~life~~ luck.

Jasmine dress.

2008-10-31T23:38:00.004+08:00

I cannot believe I just found THE Claire's wedding dress on, Goggle:

I'm caught up in the whole Disney Couture, whatever whatever. This is the Jasmine dress. Beautiful. Now to see if I have the luck to get married in the first place. Le sigh.

Though I reckon I'd have to put on a few kilos to reach optimal dress-won't-fall-off shape, I guess it'll be worth the binge. =) Which brings me to add: I think I got my appetite back! I couldn't believe myself when I ordered Macs online today, on top of dinner. I ordered it at 6:54PM. The estimated time of arrival said: 7:39PM. So I took my own sweet time, walking around in my PJs when the doorbell rang. At 7:07PM. I practically whipped off my PJs and got into some decent tee-shirt and shorts at Superman speed.

And then I stuffed myself till I got 1kg heavier. Yay. Mr Yeoh seems happy about my force feeding: "Just eat, don't don't eat."

Avenue Q!

2008-10-30T14:53:00.003+08:00

I'M GONNA WATCH AVENUE Q!!!
(NANA ARE YOU EXCITED???!)

What is AVENUE Q about?

AVENUE Q is the story of Princeton, a bright-eyed college grad who comes to New York City with big dreams and a tiny bank account. He soon discovers that the only neighborhood in his price range is Avenue Q; still, the neighbors seem nice. There's Brian the out-of-work comedian and his therapist fianceé Christmas Eve; Nicky the good-hearted slacker and his roommate Rod -- a Republican investment banker who seems to have some sort of secret; an Internet addict called Trekkie Monster; and a very cute kindergarten teaching assistant named Kate. And would you believe the building's superintendent is Gary Coleman?!? (Yes, that Gary Coleman.) Together, Princeton and his newfound friends struggle to find jobs, dates, and their ever-elusive purpose in life.

Chanel 2.55

2008-10-27T01:49:00.011+08:00

[EDIT] I just weighed myself, I lost 3 kg in a week. Damn crazy, I need to get well fast or I'll disappear. [/EDIT]

I seriously think, if I hold any of these in my hands and my bf says; "Babe, this is for you!", I will faint:

Love the navy one and the dark pink one too. LOVEITLOVEITLOVEIT. But the creme one is still my favourite. =)

Sick.

2008-10-23T15:41:00.002+08:00

"Death tugs at my ear and whispers,
'Live! I am coming.'"
--Virgil (70-19 B.C.)

I can't believe that I've fallen sick just before my exams.
I can't believe that Mr Yeoh's sick too in TW.
Together in sickness and in health huh? But I'd rather you be well, TW must have been hell. ='(
There are a lot of things I can't believe, but press on press on.

I <3 Disney Couture!

2008-10-20T15:59:00.004+08:00

Preview of Disney Couture inspired wraps:

COMMENTS PLEASE!

The crushing pain.

2008-10-19T22:07:00.002+08:00

I had a terrible week. But:

No more photo requests please!!!

Grow hair GROW!

2008-10-15T00:52:00.006+08:00

Disclaimer: I will only reveal THE HAIR when it grows out, at least by 1cm, time at my own discretion. HAHA. =D

My mummy is funny:

OVER SMS

Mummy: Guess wat! I just fished out a drowned lizard fr dishwashg liquid. I tot it was some strand of veg.
Me: Haha! Is it dead?
Mummy: Soft and dead. Such a pity. I wd hv let it run around if it were alive.

I remember once, I soaked a finished tub of chocolate ice-cream and the next morning when I tipped it over to wash, a brown, chocolate-coated lizard ran out and scared the hell outta me. WTF, chocolate lizard. NOT APPETIZING.

It is the nights, that are the hardest.

Bang bang you're dead.

2008-10-13T16:45:00.009+08:00

My hair is now shorter and doll bang-ed. I cannot feel more sad and terrible.

This, is how I want to remember myself, the old Claire, whose hair then, is now dearly departed:

Jill's 19th. =)

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-10T12:24:00.012+08:00

What I've been up too:

Because home has been terribly boring besides for studying my head off and mending heylingo, which btw, I'm done with the batch. I suddenly had Martha Stewart cravings and hence trotted to the supermarket just for this specially:

Happy Halloween people. Which honestly I have never cared about and still don't know it's exact date, nevertheless I am celebrating it this year because boredom says so.

What's new on heylingo:

(Glo are you still interested in this?)

I still love this the most!

Tootsie tootsie toot!

2008-10-07T13:33:00.004+08:00

I LOVE TOOTSIE ROLL:

Tootsie rolls, though the name sounds a bit, TOOT (no pun intended), is like, the best candy I have ever eaten. At $2.50 a roll and only sold at Candy Empire, I've gotta save and stash up my supplies.

This is a preview of a present for somebody. It's so pretty in reality even though it's incomplete, and I really don't feel like giving it away. That's the problem with me, but I can't keep every nice piece for myself!

On a random note, my PMS this month is an all time bitch-cranky and I am so damn tired, always. Mr Yeoh even uncontrollably told me I had an attitude problem because I was taking everything out on the poor boy. =( Which to add, he is now 21 days away from me again in TW. Le sigh. Come home soon. <3

SMS.

2008-10-01T11:55:00.002+08:00

This is my PMS week, and hurrah! I am angry, again:

O.M.G.
What's the point of a handphone? You tell me? Well, possibly to improve rates of communication and also for access of information. Hell ya, it's not possibly, it's definately.

Well some people obviously do not know that! And it's been getting on my nerves how I wait and wait and wait for messages when really it only takes 3 minutes to reply (or if your brain works at pentium 2 like mine sometimes or if you're really busy, 15 mins MAX). And the worst part is, the messages I wait for are the important ones. And from important people, in my life.

I don't don't like these people. I just don't like their rates of replies.

I got a big piss off this morning, so I'm gonna do an hour of pilates cum stretching before I start gnawing and punching things. I have been so pissy-offy the past few days I think I'm gonna age by 50 years in a night.

%&^#F*#@F*%#$*F@@!(F!

ANGRY.

2008-09-29T16:39:00.004+08:00

Rant:

Usually, I love the rain.

But today it left me cold, wet and f-ing frustrated.

I was holding a huge brolly, treading in icky, yucky grass-rainwater with a cloth bag and a plastic bag with a HEAVY, HARD 1L Grey Goose Vodka strung around my shoulder, which I guarded with my life. PLOD PLOD PLOD, down the hill I went. Reached the bus stop a long stretch away, realised my thoroughly soaked cloth bag was feeling kinda empty and the realised I had left my cumbersome wallet at his house and couldn't take the bus. Bloody BEEP!

PLOD PLOD PLOD back up the steep hill that led to his house, cursing and swearing so loudly like the grass could hear me and empathize. "If he is not waiting for me downstairs with my wallet, I am going to scream and hit the tree with the brolly! Argh!"

Thankfully my inaudible ramblings were answered.

PLOD PLOD PLOD back down. Traffic light: WOOSHHH! An army tanker washes the pool of rainwater on me. Thanks thanks, fucktard. On the bus, the driver brakes so hard the vodka topples and does an acrobatic roll. Sending my heart near cardiac arrest.

And to make things a whole lot worse: MY FOREVER 21 SUPER NICE HALTER GOT RUINED AT THE TAILOR. I SAID TO TIGHTEN THE ELASTIC, NOT TO REMOVE THE LABELS AND THE PLASTIC HANGERS AT THE SIDE! AND WOW. SOME SORT OF ELASTIC-Y ELASTIC YOU USED. BRILLIANT. [EDIT]I went back to complain, and they are redoing everything for me. Very good. =D[/EDIT]

*breathes. Thankfully, you were great company these two days. Which makes life so much more fulfilling. <3

F1!

2008-09-26T20:59:00.003+08:00

In the heat of the F1 season:

Grid girl ah!

Went to pick Frannie up yesterday with glo. Got this terribly fun-to-wave-around FREE flag. Haha. Couldn't stop waving it around and dancing around the whole airport. Whilst waiting for the bus at the bus bay (and yes, still waving my flag enthusiastically) this tourist asked me for directions. Because I was singing and talking animatedly to glo, he kinda startled me. I swear I almost poked him with the flag. He was asking me directions to Raffles Boulevard. After much guidance from glo, we realised that he just landed and was going for the F1. Hence, we concluded that I must have looked like a raring F1 enthusiast with that flag. The flag worked after all!

Preview of Prom collection. =D

2008-09-22T15:58:00.009+08:00

Preview of Prom collection:
(I'd like comments please!)

These are just 4 out of the collection. I'm not done with all nor showing all because hello, it's just a preview! Feedback on things like colour, price, suggestions on patterns, etc. Click to enlarge so you can see the details. I can't thank you enough. Loves!

Behind the happy faces.

2008-09-19T11:52:00.016+08:00

New Topshop opening preview! :

I almost fainted yesterday from fatigue and enochlophobia. I think having too many people around just drains away the aura around me. GAH. Nevertheless, the fashion show made me feel 10x better about my flat skinny self. Hail the thin flat models!

Study day with Jill & Daph:

HEEEEEEE!!!!

BIG SQUIQQUARD EAT SMALL SQUIQQUARD!

HOOOORRRRRR!

Behind the happy faces: I am so emotionally and physically tired. I cannot scream for attention anymore because it's sounding desperate. But how can I control myself when you.......

Blow wind blow.

2008-09-15T11:56:00.005+08:00

All my love, to the person who owns:

Thanks girls, for the love.
All I can say is: I hope the storm is over.

The weeks, in their dreadful creeping hours, are passing faster than I expected. I have so little time to spend with you.

[EDIT]I misjudged. No. How could I misjudge when I could not tell. The storm is not over. I would like to say it resided. And you are blowing hot and cold at me again. Oh how your temper is like fire and the blames you like to push. You do know that blaming others would not solve things and rid you of guilt, right? Unless of course you think of yourself faultless to begin with. Then that is a terrible misfortune. For chivalry without humility is but a shinning armour with no knight. Do not live to be a fighting empty shell that you half already are.

How do I tell him, I forgive though my tongue is quick to curse? No, I won't tell. Because there is no need. He has not convinced me yet that to tell will reap appreciation and admittance. Our pride to forgive and admit has lead to a wall, built upon the other person's life. "Oh yes her life is hard, but can't she see? That mine is worse?" "I wish he'd understand, that I do not understand, what struggles he goes through because I am not there. For patience I ask, but he never gives." [/EDIT]

That's how people stop loving each other. They blame. They self-pity. They become selfish to protect their hearts from being torn apart again.
I don't want to be void of all the wonderful feelings love brings.

So welcome back.

2008-09-04T19:49:00.003+08:00

My best friend and I have this special ability:

We can physco ourselves to block out feelings.
If you're gonna hurt us, or already have, we can pretend that we're not thinking about it; not consumed by it.
If you take one look at us, oh sure, we're smiling.
That's because we're trying our best to tell ourselves, 'Everything's alright!'

You know what I'm telling myself right now?
"_______________________________"
And I haven't cried.
But when I do, that's when I know my 'magic' ability's lost for the night.
By morning, it should return.

I know you're tired from the trip, but you ~~fuckinghell~~ don't have to take it out on me.

"In a storm," Thomas More said, "don't abandon ship just because you can't control the wind."

More than lonely... =(

2008-08-31T22:35:00.005+08:00

Happy Mid-autumn festival!

Green Tea snow skin mooncakes!

Time passes too fast. I still remember having a class Mid-autumn festival celebration at Changi last year. (I think we were like, the coolest class ever to have such an event!) This year's mooncakes are 10x better than last year's Lemon and Peppermint ones. And they are made with Green Tea paste inside and Green Tea powder outside. Double whammy for a huge fan of Green Tea like me. =D

I used to hate taking passport photos:

Really hated in the past. You either looked normal, or dreadful. Never in between. There was no retakes or refunds for photos than turned out bad. I had photos where I was white as sheet, and others that made me jaundiced. Worse still, if I quasi-closed my eyes and looked criminal (like in my I-freaking-C). Until of course I discovered the wonders of the passport photo booth! Finally, I look a tad bit normal-er. =)

My best friend is in Aussie now. And he's still in the jungle. Sighs. I am more than lonely. =(

Dear Steffie-Weffie...!

2008-08-24T22:45:00.007+08:00

=( Goodbye Steff:

Terrific Trio! Nana. Me. Steff.

Class Love! Randy. Dom. Pok. Foo. Aud. Steff. Nana. Me.

Steff started tickling me!

CRAZYYYY Passport Photos! (LOOK AT NANA! HAHA! DAMN CUTE.)

Breeks gang, yo.

It was heart-ranching, watching her leave, but she had too. She was one of the best friends I made in JC. One of the most humble and disgusting(ha!) ones too. Time passes way too fast, only to remind me yet again that independent life is just beginning. We are getting too old too fast to grasp...
See you during Christmas babe, study hard! =)

Mr Yeoh, ilu ilu ilu. Come home safe and soon. <3